Learning from Innocent Children
When Shakyamuni determined a place under a bodhi tree as the seat where he could meditate to seek the Way, a legend of the Buddha says that birds and small children soon gathered around him, instinctively foreseeing that he would achieve enlightenment.
In the Bible, too, believers are told to “become like little children,” recognizing their innocence and purity of heart, and I think this teaches us the importance of realizing the basic nature, the pure ideals with which we are born as human beings.
When we talk about ideals, what may first come to mind for the most people are God or the Buddha. That is to say, we think of ideals, and seek them outside of ourselves. However, human beings are born with innate ideals. What distances us from them as we grow older is that we lead our lives among worldly affairs and relative values, adhering to the fixed ideas of so-called conventional wisdom.
The Zen master Bankei’s poem, “A child / grows smarter and smarter / and sadly, farther and farther from the Buddha,” teaches us the importance of learning from the innocence and fresh sensibility of a child, casting off the limitations of conventional attitudes, and seeing the world with the eyes of the Buddha’s wisdom.

Child-rearing is the Practice of Selflessness
Last year, during my annual dissemination tour throughout Japan, I was asked by a woman who is dealing with the experience of rearing a child, “Please give us guidance on performing our church duties while also raising a child.”
I replied to her, “You cannot successfully raise a child if you are self-centered. It is important to recognize that the practice of child-rearing gives you the opportunity to pursue nonself.”
Rearing a child with love and trust is vital to the formation of a child’s character. The child grows nourished by this affection in his or her heart. We could say that the reason children do not stay still for even a moment except when they are asleep is that they are an expression of life itself, proof of life, and the naturalness of life.
Child-rearing is a serious matter, but you should not take it too seriously. Do not scold a lively child just for making noise. Go about your duties with the determination that child-rearing should be a mother’s highest priority. It is vital to interact with your child with kindness and affection. A mother’s protecting her child from danger and showing consideration that her child does not bother others, allows the child to cultivate his or her own sense of security and trust in growing up.
Through the act of child-rearing, we are given the opportunity to do something most important―to destroy the ego, and through this experience foster our awareness as a parent, and perform our duties with the selfless spirit of putting others first.